IF IT AIN'T METAL

I write another song while boiling the kettle
Amphetamine cartoon bubblegum metal
145 bpm, No need for the Wildheart's second album
Scarier girls and prettier boys
With a yo-ho-ho and a wall of noise
Displaying a remarkable lack of feeling
While scraping the audience off the ceiling.

Soaked in spit and swimming in sweat
This is just about as good as it's ever gonna get
Inhuman beatbox at the back
Say who's that twat in the cowboy hat?
Playing in front rooms, playing in barns
We're the grooviest studs on the Animal Farm
When the moshpit filled with broken bones
The headline act packed up and went home.

So what the fuck was all that for?
Long Don Juannabe media whores
All that leather and all that skin
What made us just pack up and give it in?
Four long years of my wasted life
On the string of a shoe and the edge of a knife
Something Mike Jones said that I'll take to my grave
Yeah, if it ain't Metal it's Rave.